Kaetlin Perna
November 24, 2006

Thanksgiving: (blech!) A holiday wherein people are permitted to be mean and confrontational with their family, friends or guests at dinner. What a lovely holiday. This year, I was cajoled in spending it with my entire family in my most "favorite" place ever: Phoenix, Arizona. I spent last turkey day, almost by tradition, in Rochester with my father and stepmother, while everyone was in Omaha dealing with each other but this year I was not allowed to blow it off.

Now, this year just brings a whole lot of issues for me. 1) I hate Thanksgiving, 2) I hate Phoenix . Okay, I mildly miss/like Phoenix , but she and I ended on bad terms. I was broke, brokenhearted and in debt; she could care less. Now, I'm not and probably more successful than ever. It will be uncomfortable though, like attending a high school reunion and the bottle blonde dye job beeyatch who gave you hell for being awkward are now are fifty pounds overweight with four kids, and married to their inattentive high school sweetheart; and I'm not. That's how it feels.

And I'm sure if it weren't for the holiday I despise most, I could deal with my family easier. Ah, my family, you don't know about them, and by the tone I am using, you must think they have leprosy or some weird flesh eating bacteria. No, not at all. My family is great; they are just diverse, not only in lifestyle but beliefs as well. I remember a pretty tense moment at my sister's commencement dinner when the topic of gay marriage came up. My oldest (shocked at his conservative views) brother states, "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." Everyone looks at my practicing Christian brother, who says, "What are you looking at me for?"

The always optimistic, left winger mom says (probably with agreement with dad and stepmother) that it's about love, everyone is beautiful and equal, and when did she raise such an intolerant son? Do you see any similarities to anyone you know? Commencement moderate sister and I don't really say anything. Lord knows what would have happened had our oldest sister with three kids, flexible views but is a voting Republican (military family) got involved. Get us all under the same roof at the same table, and someone's bound to shed tears. And most likely it's going to be me.

So let's see, you have the glimpse of family "togetherness," my views of what Thanksgiving is about and where's it's being held this year. Imagine all the fun I might have. However, what is planned is dinner, lots of drinking (I was promised), card playing, turkey day 5k walk/run, more drinking, maybe a performance or two from me but hopefully a holiday better than I'm expecting and no tears.