Kaetlin Perna
September 29, 2006

"Where did you go to school?" seems to be the most frequent question of my adult life. It's also the most polite way to assess someone's worth without allowing one to know you're quietly judging them. "Was it ivy league? A PAC 10? All American? Technological or the Arts? Were they the partier or the nerd in that particular college?" you think quietly to yourself. It allows you to figure them out, just a little bit, to see where you stand where the conversation is going.

Now, I have this nasty habit of actually talking to people, instead of at them. I hang onto people's words carefully noting their accent, their intonations and their beats (because I'm musically inclined, my sense of hearing tends to the strong side). So, instead of social formalities wherein people engage in structured small talk, I say, "How are you? What did you do today?" to a complete stranger. I'm not normal, I know this, but this too helps me assess the person I'm talking to.

I once sat drunk in a bar in New York, conversing with a man I'd met months earlier. His name was Craig. I casually asked him where we went to school; University of Delaware he says. I have no clue where that is, besides being in a state maybe an hour and half long. I can't remember what he majored in, maybe it was English, and maybe it was Film. East Coast School, English (possibly Film) major - he's probably a writer of sorts. Hmm, not a fluff wannabe Burroughs one either. Craig: The Maybe Writer. That's interesting enough to continue talking to him.

I tell him, "I went to Arizona State." Crap! I have to clear things up here so he doesn't think I'm a total flake. "Yeah yeah, it's a party school." I say almost shamefully; that sounds even worse though. "Great... football team... and Journalism program. I studied Journalism... I'm a writer... I write." I'm fumbling, I'm, lying and to make it even worse, I didn't even finish school! He doesn't seem to care, thankfully. But are people judging my choice to attend Arizona State? Do they think I'm a party girl with a fake and bake sorority girl tan? Do people take me seriously?

Arizona State University while having a seemingly huge reputation as being a party school where Student Council VP's film themselves screwing porn stars and sorority girls flocked in pairs of twelve with Greek symbols printed on their hot pink, juicy asses, is in reality a pretty decent school. In fact, if you actually applied yourself and went to classes, it was a great school! I hated it there, I wished I was in Chicago at Columbia College studying Film and taking comedy classes at Second City. My college crush even now lives there with gorgeous girlfriend (I seethe green with envy).

Looking back though, even if I had gone to Columbia College, I'd probably be a Production Assistant for Saturday Night Live, fetching coffee for someone I've never heard of, miserable and alone. I would have never met Craig, I never would have fallen so deeply in love with comedy (yes, all forms of comedy), and you, my readers, would not be reading this. Things happen for a reason, as crappy as they feel at the time but most of the time - it's for the good. God bless Arizona State.

[Author's Note: Kaet is sick with allergies, she brushed up against a bee in the middle of the night and now has hives. At 11:43 p.m. on Thursday night, she is listening to Armageddon and finally letting the Benadryl kick in.]